


stomachache.

by aurelia_murphy



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Character Study, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, Jared Kleinman Needs Love, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Evan's Suicide Attempt, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THAT CAN TRIGGER YOU! BE SAFE!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 19:06:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19091239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurelia_murphy/pseuds/aurelia_murphy
Summary: the insanely cool jared kleinman was decidedly less cool than he had originally thought.





	stomachache.

**Author's Note:**

> this is short but i was itching to do a character study for jared. he needs more love!

the insanely cool jared kleinman was decidedly less cool than he had originally thought. 

cool people didn’t go around hurting their only friend. cool people didn’t make people feel like he only talked to them for his stupid car insurance. cool people didn’t walk around like they own the place as they hid a painful amount of feelings. cool people could empathize. cool people were kind. 

all in all, cool people were not jared kleinman. 

evan had been avoiding him lately. he had a good reason to. jared wished he could avoid himself after what happened. could he? there was a way, but jared had promised himself months ago that he wouldn’t let his thoughts go down that path again. not after evan.

jared knew, of course he did. a forty foot tall oak tree? as much as evan liked trees, jared had a hard time believing that the blonde would climb it without the intention to fall. jared wasn’t stupid. he knew that evan was feeling bad, but like the insanely not-cool jared kleinman he is, he didn’t say anything. jared was an awful person. he had come to accept that, but the fact that evan had as well was heartbreaking. he could cry. 

jared knew he was terrible. jared knew his jokes were never funny. jared knew he was hurting people. but for some reason, jared could not find it in himself to stop. 

what was jared kleinman without the jokes? without the crude humour? he wasn’t anyone. he didn’t have a personality without hurting people’s feelings. he didn’t want to have no personality. if he had to choose, being interesting was better than being nice. 

was he interesting, though? honestly, he had to say it didn’t feel like it. he just felt awful. not interesting, not excited, not funny, just awful. 

it wasn’t fun to feel awful, that much jared had learned over time. is that how evan felt all the time? jared hated to think about that. feeling like that all the time - no wonder evan jumped out of the tree. that tree incident was something jared felt responsible for. maybe if he had been a better friend to evan and hadn’t hid years of feelings behind a screen of ‘family friends’, evan wouldn’t have felt the way he did. 

suddenly, jared felt sick. he felt that he definitely deserved the stomachache, but that didn’t make it any more bearable. he wished it would go away. it was a pain in his ass. is that what people felt like when he was around? that he was unbearable, and a pain in the ass? if he was as bad as a stomachache, he felt bad for making people put up with him all this time. 

the insanely not-so-cool, pretty sad jared kleinman was awful. he was just as bad as a stomachache.

**Author's Note:**

> tee hee....... i might make a part two and three for connor and evan to go along with this!


End file.
